In Celebration of Being a Beginner

I just shared with our residents some thoughts on an older essay that I just read, Tim Wu’s “In Praise of Mediocrity” published in The New York Times back in 2018. Wu writes that there is so much societal pressure on the pursuit of excellence in whatever we endeavor, that we end up doing nothing rather than failing to be excellent. This made me think about my favorite topic, liminality and aging, and saw some interesting connections.

A refresher: liminal space is an in-between space, and I often refer to aging as being a liminal state. You’re no longer who you used to be, and you’re trying to understand yourself in a different light. Our tendency is to measure ourselves against a version of ourselves that doesn’t quite fit any longer. That can bring a lot of discomfort.

The more we identify with our former selves, the harder it is to enter that liminal space of a new, unfamiliar identity. Rather than fight change as we age, we can recognize that we simply become novices at many things, to name a few: our changing bodies, our changing roles, changing technology, changing norms and expectations, and perhaps changing the place one calls home. So maybe “successful aging” is about leaning in to being a novice, to being a beginner again. Maybe we can start to think about aging as the “discovery of our novicehood”, a gift courtesy of liminality.

I’d challenge us to consider that aging well is not about “still” being excellent at things we used to do, thought it can be for some. But maybe it’s really about being willing to be a beginner. To be a novice. To be comfortable with being new at something. Everyone that moves to Bayview becomes a beginner again as a Bayview resident. And once they’re no longer a novice at that, they get to be a beginner at learning a new skill, making new friends, growing in unexpected and joyful ways. As we age, there can be much joy in embracing novicehood. Be a little daring. Try something new. Drop the self-judgment and the need to be excellent. Be comfortable with being a beginner. And watch as your world opens.

Originally posted for Queen Anne & Magnolia News.